Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
