YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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