This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
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I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
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I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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