Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
