it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
How's work?
Spinning.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
