i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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