PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.