dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.