called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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