2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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