I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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