Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
