pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
