Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
