Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
