I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
