She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
