hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
