i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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