is your mom at the bar?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
