worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
