On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
