Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
