Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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