It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
