I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Semen is not good for contacts.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
