i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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