Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
