Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
