Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
