I got chris browned last night
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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