The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
