Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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