new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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