Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
