when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
