I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I would ride that face into the sunset
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize