Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
