oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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