So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
