Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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