drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
