im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize