you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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