a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
