I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I don't think brook has ever known best
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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