I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He is an equal opportunity slut.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick