Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
nutella sex= disaster
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?