your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo