No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.