If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.