His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
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Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
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I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.