IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.