we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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