guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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