So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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