I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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