i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
