Having a random hookup so left but love u
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
