I think I died a long time ago.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize