woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i believe in u and ur pee
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
