weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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