it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
