So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
