The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
