White coat. Heels.
youre lurking in front of me
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
