I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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